Momma, Please Forgive Me!

Momma, Please Forgive Me!, depicts how a woman was in an abusive relationship with her husband. This dynamic story details how a woman committed murder in order to protect herself and her children. It describes how her actions caused more pain than solutions. It also sheds a light on how domestic violence is considered a silent killer and why it should be stopped! After reading this book, it will shed more details and understanding as to why La Vonne did what she did in order to save herself and her children.This exceptional novel has made a lot of noise, read it and see what everyone is talking about.

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"Leave it up to Toi L. Moore to keep it real on love, relationships, and accomplishments. She's a dynamic and delightful writer, as well as a hell of a woman!"

Vivica A. Fox - Actress

"Toi Moore is an emerging African American sistah with a story to tell. She is committed to sharing "real life" situations through the talent of literary writing."

Lisa Cross - The Sistah Circle Book Club (Dallas)

"This story was very touching because there are so many women out here today being abused by their significant others."

La Toya - Sista Friendz Book Club

"Toi is an author who cares about today's issues and I hope she continues in this line of writing."

Mahogany Book Club

"I am so proud of you. You will do good! I enjoyed Momma, Please Forgive Me! so much that I told everyone to buy it! Now, we can wait for Mind Games! I know you will do well."

Mary Inell Sterling-Fitzgerald - Student



"I hate you! I hate you! Take your hands off of me and get away right now! I'm not going to let you do this to me again. No more, never again!" La Vonne Brown said in fear as Jonathan, her drug induced husband beat her while her small children watched with fear.

"I told you not to call the cops, but you wouldn't listen. La Vonne, all I wanted you to do was love me as your husband. But all you ever did was complain and nag me about the things I wasn't doing. The only thing I did was have a good time with my friends. But now that you've called the cops, you're gonna pay!" Then he continued to beat her, socking her in the face and stomach with his fist while she cried with great agony.

"Stop Daddy! Don't hit mommy! Please stop now before you hurt her like you did before." Jonathan Jr. said as his dad continued hitting his mother, who weighed a mere 105 pounds, next to his dad's giant 210 pound body. The powerful blows from his fist caused her face to bleed.

"Get away from me you little bastard." Jonathan Sr. said as he pushed away his eight year old son. "You better take your black ass back to bed before I put my foot up in it!" Then he looked at La Vonne, who was a small-framed light skinned black woman. She was trying to wipe away the blood that dripped from her face while holding her stomach, which was cramping from the pain. The cramping was a result of not only the pain she endured from the beating, but from the fragile state her body was in while carrying their unborn twins in her womb. While bearing the massive pain, La Vonne noticed trickles of blood running down her leg. To her surprise, it was leaking from her vagina, where her babies were sheltered away from the world.

Jonathan looked at the blood and became more enraged with what he saw and screamed; "We didn't need no more damn kids around here anyway! I hope the little bastards die!" Then he let out a sound of laughter that was pulled up from the bottom of his stomach, shook his head and continued to smile. He was feeling proud of what he had done. His large frame towered over La Vonne and her children. His size and dark complexion gave him a look of power and strength that frightened many who were in his presence.

After hearing her father's harsh words, Stacy, their six year old daughter ran back to her bedroom while crying out loud. Jr. sat in silence. "Jonathan just leave him alone, you're scaring him."

La Vonne warned, as he prepared to teach their son a lesson. "Don't you dare put your hands on him." Fear and rage were deeply embedded in her voice. "Just leave us alone. Go back with your friends and leave this house!" As she stood in pain holding her stomach, her thoughts focused on the police actually coming to her rescue, even though she knew that wasn't likely to happen. She knew that this time was different and that this time things were very wrong. However, the reality was always the same, the police only came in her neck of the woods if someone was bleeding to death or worse. Living in a low income neighborhood, that was predominately black, resulted in less than fair treatment, or respect, given by anyone with authority.

As La Vonne stood there, Jr. saw the fear in his mother's eyes. He wanted to help. "Daddy just leave us alone! We didn't do anything to you." He fearfully said. Suddenly, Jonathan held up his hand and hit his son right in the face, making his lip bleed. Jr. fell to the beat-up wooden floor and began crying. He held his nose, trying to stop the blood from streaming down.

Jonathan laughed out loud as he watched his son laying on the floor. "Get off that floor you little sissy. What's the matter, you can't take it like a man? Your ass been hanging around your damn momma for too long. She got you acting like a little bitch. That's all you are is a little bitch-ass momma's boy. Get your ass off that damn floor and stop crying like a little baby."

Jr. stayed on the floor, ignoring his father's threats. He feared that if he stood up, his father would knock him down again. "Did you hear me you little bastard? I said get the fuck up right now before I hit you again!" Jr. tried to slowly stand up, but the pain was too great, causing him to drop back down to the floor. Jonathan shook his head and laughed as he watched his son struggle.

After seeing the look on her son's face, La Vonne's pain suddenly faded away. As she listened to the words that came from her husband's mouth and the laughter that came from his body, her facial expressions turned from fear to rage. She dropped down to her living room floor and held her grieving son tight in her arms. She rocked him back and forth, close to her body, trying to ease away the pain. "Shhh, don't cry. It's alright, it'll be alright." As she held him tight, the blood on her face continued to drip down from the painful blow to her nose she endured from the beating Jonathan forced upon her, mixing both of their bloods together.

"Now, are you satisfied? Are you satisfied that you can beat us all up? You're such a big man now. Jonathan just leave! Leave us alone and get out of our house. We don't want you here anymore. I'm tired of going though all this pain. I'm tired of my kids watching you beat on me every night. I'm also tired of the broken bones and the black eyes you've given me through the years. I've had enough! So do us all a favor and leave," she again warned. After recognizing the violent acts her kids were constantly witnessing, La Vonne suddenly began to feel strong and unafraid. She knew the violence had to come to an end because of.the constant hurt and pain they witnessed.

"Bitch, don't talk to me like that!" Jonathan said with a devilish fire in his eyes. "Who do you think you are? Ain't no motha'-fucker going to tell me what the fuck to do in my own damn house, and I mean no body!" Slowly, he wobbled his drug induced body to the couch, sat down, closed his eyes and fell fast asleep. As he slept, he proudly wore a sarcastic smile on his face.

As La Vonne watched him sleep, displaying his smile of pride, she became filled with rage like never before. While she looked into the eyes of her bleeding son, her rage continued to grow stronger. The dead silence that was now in the house encouraged Stacy to gather enough nerve and peek around the corner. She wanted to make sure everyone was alright. After spotting what appeared to be calm, she walked into the living room and sat close to her mother and brother, holding on tight to her mother's arm and sucking her thumb, while keeping her eyes focused directly on her sleeping father.

Stacy also attempted to help comfort her brother. She rubbed her hand across his arm and patted him to calm down. After knowing that Jr. was calm, La Vonne found a nearby pillow and placed it under his head. Then she slowly struggled to get off the floor. After raising her limp body up to her knees, she clenched her teeth together and held on to the bottom of her stomach that bared extreme pain. The blood that slowly dripped from her vagina was the beginning stages of her body hemorrhaging from the six month old twins she was carrying inside of her womb.

However, her feelings of pain were put on hold because she knew that this abuse had to somehow end. Since standing was too painful, she crawled toward the couch where Jonathan laid asleep. Then she carefully and quietly reached under the couch, searching for her answer. As she stretched her arm farther and farther, she felt the presence of what she knew was her savior. This was the answer she believed would solve all of her problems.

Finally, La Vonne's desperate search was over as she pulled out a long gauged shot gun. Her small and weak body almost made it impossible for her to hold the heavy gun. After retrieving the weapon, she slowly stood straight to her feet, leaned against a nearby chair for support, placed the gun in position, put her eye on the target, pulled back the trigger and aimed the gun directly toward Jonathan's chest.

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