What secret did you find out that SHOCKED the hell out of you? What did you do?

Lois: How far down the rabbit hole goes when it comes to the Health Industry and their ruthlessness in making money off the misfortunes of others…… I took ownership of my health and now look to natural solutions whenever possible. Some of the meds I was on were not only poison but damaged the Central Nervous System…. I was dx with “benign tremors”… HA. There was nothing benign about the medications I was on giving me symptoms identical to Parkinson’s disease. I regained my balance and self-confidence once I went on an aggressive detox…
Jina: That a person I had a Sandy on when I was younger is gay….. I cried but expected
Lois: @Jina, Man that sucks and NOT in good way either.
Toi: When my step-sister, who was 15, NEVER knew my father. I was 26 and she/her mother, FOUND ME and told me she was my sister. But then, when her mother told her she had another father and she would take her to meet him, he had been dead for TWO YEARS! :(( NOT GOOD! I lost touch with her and would be curious to see how she’s doing, because her mother later died.
Monica: um nothing shocks me.. I always assume some bs is in their closet.

Why do people (MAINLY MEN) feel you have to LIE to someone if you’re still getting to know them?

Karen: Lying and deception are a part of our culture. People learn to do it in childhood. Parents say, “Tell the truth,” and they beat, whip, and punish the children when they do. Lying is first nature to most adults. Every single TV show is about lying, being deceptive, highlights and showcases people’s untruths. I had a two year old teach me how to tell the truth almost 2 decades ago and ever since then I made a commitment to being pathologically honest and I’ve lived IMHO my life that way ever since. When you meet someone, you want to put your best foot forward, you want them to like you, so people tend to tell people what they think they want to hear. Eventually, the truth will come out. Soon and very soon, that person will see that you aren’t what you initially portrayed yourself to be. We are so emotionally immature as a society, we don’t understand the importance of bold and unadulterated truth. It’s liberating to tell the truth, to say, “This is who I am. I’m not perfect but I’m still a great person and I am putting myself out there with all my flaws showing and I hope you will accept me for who I am.” As long as we are a culture of self-centered, emotionally immature, damaged people, lying will be the defacto position for those seeking to form relationships.
Toi: Damnnnnnnnnnnn girlllllllll, you getting REAL up in here! I LOVE IT! Thanksss for the TRUTH!

When someone u are in a relationship with ALWAYS takes their time to call/text you, what does that mean?

Victor: No, just cheating. That’s been my experience & I so pray that it isn’t yours.
Beverly: It may mean he is just being a man.
We as women are more into calling, texting and stuff. The more they contact us, the more in love with us we think they are…’he didn’t call so he don’t care’ ya’ll know how we are. I sometimes think that the ‘only’ reason they call us is because we need that attention. If it is a genuine relationship, I don’t think it means anything if he is slow about contact. Men are different creatures, they usually figure if they are still with us we should know they love us… so why do they need to call and text! LOL. I get called 2 or 3 times a day, but I don’t think if he didn’t call it means anything negative. If he is just plain ole too busy or not feeling you…well ya don’t need him anyway!! LOL
Victor: Well, ummmm, Beverly, I am a man, and when I love a woman I call her & text her promp to all the time, because my love, and her love, is always on my mind.
Beverly: I did not say ALL men. Like I said, my man calls me about 2-3 times a day. I don’t have that problem, but typically like Steve Harvey says in his book, a lot of things men do is because they love us and want to please us, but if left just up to the man, he would not do a lot of things. I think if a man loves a woman, he will call and ‘pursue’… I just had to learn that if a man doesn’t call all the time, it does not mean that he does not love me.
Anna: Aren’t really feeling u
Becky: Just NOT into you. Or they’re already committed to someone/something else.
Ron: Well, I agree with most of what Bev says but there are no 100% cut and dry answers for this one. A busy individual can love you dearly but texting/calling is NOT on the top of the things to do list. On the other hand, they might just be “cheating”. It’s a hard one to call. It would have to based on an individual circumstance in my opinion (which is one of many). Good luck!
Becky: @Ron if you love a person, they shouldn’t doubt it n or have to wonder about non communication, that little tid bit, would have been cleared up in the beginning. Oh yeah, could be stress!
Gabby: If it’s a constant habit it could mean you’re not a high priority to this person. If that is the case.. like the saying goes:’ Never make someone your priority when to them you are only an option.
Toi: GREAT ANSWERS, thank GOD I don’t have that problem with my husband. After over 2 yrs of marriage, 2gether 4 over 29, we BOTH call each other several times a day if we r apart. 4 me, communication is so IMPORTANT! I tell my friend the same thing, if he doesn’t have time 2 keep in touch with u regularly, ten he ISN’T into u! Which is why I also tell her 2 keep it moving dot com! She’s BETTER than stressing over some1 who like Gabrielle says does NOT make u a priority!
Victor: Wow Ron!!!!! Great answer man! Who the heck are ya? Dr. Phil? Wow!
Marie: that means it ain’t a real relationship.
Angela: Just NOT that into you. I recently broke up With my ex BC I was always calling /texting … Its rude, his excuse was he is not a phone person … not long before found nude pictures of other women’s, which of course I should have let him totally go (foolish heart) … either way if a man can’t call or text, trust me Move on!!!!!

What is a person willing to do to create and keep a happy home.

Jina: Wow I’ve been there I was willing to get my son dad help because he used drugs but he didnt want to change and got abuse so I had to protect me n my kids
Kay: Well, one of the easiest is to keep the actual house clean and in order. A clean and orderly environment helps to see things more clearly, you feel more relaxed when you’re home. It’s a minor thing but it helps a lot.
Sheryl: be a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom that my friends is how u keep a man at HOME ijs!
Paula: The elderly women tell me lots of compromise and sacrifice.
Erk: Jina, we are all powerless over drugs and alcohol Honey. It is waaaaay to much for regular humans to fix. So don’t give up on doing something fabulous for a man over a crack head. What do I do? Well, I learned to hear my man. To become an actor in my relationship instead of a reactor. I have learned to take the action of inaction. Everytime I get pissed, I stop. I say or do nothing. I wait until I hear my partner and do my damndest to see where he is coming from because I am certain that the man I love is not as stupid as he sometimes seems to be. I’m just not seeing the situation the way he is and YES that means keeping my mouth shut and dealing with some bone chilling craziness until I realize “Oh! That’s what he thinks. Whew! for a minute, hour, day, month, week there, I thought I was married to Forrest Gump!!” Yeah. That’s how long I keep my mouth shut to keep my home happy. All that ghetto BS of “Oh no he didn’t!!” or “Oh he don’t know who I am!” and “Oh he better recognize!” I threw out the window and replaced it with a happy home.
Shonda: Clean and quiet relaxing home with meals ready when he arrives home, Help him unwind in whatever way he wishes to. If he wants space then give it to him, if he wants to make love then give him the time of his life by satisfying all his needs. If he is hungry, feed him. Treat him like a king always. Listen to him and communicate. Work hard to make sure he is happy, pray for him and let him know you support him in every way. When there are problems, talk and communicate without creating a hostile environment. If he is angry (whether it be angry with work or other people or maybe you), step away and give him space and talk when he is ready. Do something new a special regularly to surprise him when he comes home. Go on dates and enjoy time together away from everything.
Erk: ” If he is angry(whether it be angry with work or other people or maybe you), step away and give him space and talk when he is ready.” Girl that’s golden!!! You need to make a T-Shirt out of that one!

While developing a new relationship with someone, do guys get EXCITED to hear from or see the girl, like most girls get while WAITING to hear from or see the guy?

Nikki: I believe so.
Joyce: I think they hide it better than we do.
Jerome: If, the woman is Drop Dead Gorgeous.We get excited like a fat kid in a free candy store or a five year old on christmas morning.
Shonda: I think they do but some hide it to keep her from thinking he is just as excited as she is. Toi: So Jerome, when a guy IS excited, does he let the girl know, or work hard at playing hard to get or uninterested? Where’s the REST of the men? We wanna hear what u REALLY think!
Jerome: I usually follow her lead.Trying to see if the attraction is mutual. Make sure I do all the gentleman stuff women except. Keep the conversation flowing. As yall know from this group I talk alot.lol
I remember going to pick a date from her home in Anaheim Hills.So, was so drop dead gorgeous when she came to the door. I was completely speechless.She immediately grab my hand and gave me a tour of the house. Stopping at the bedroom.Then went into her bathroom.I could hear her talking on the phone.I put my ear to the bathroom door. She was telling her girlfriend that wanted to forget going to dinner and fuck me right now. She said. hes so quite makes me want to fuck him even more to make him scream out my name.
We go to dinner at restaurant at Island Shopping Center in Garden Grove. I kept staring into her eyes barely saying word and you know that was hard for me.When it was time to go to the movies. She said. Do you want to waste time at the movies or go back to my place and make our own xrated movie. To keep the story Grated. We made a three day nasty movie that would put any porno movie to shame.
Vincent: yes
Lisa: Dang, Jerome. lol! and when yer book coming out?